This hatred is an immutable fact of nature. Like cats and dogs. Or cats and mice. Or cats and birds. Why do cats hate everything?! Jerks!!
The fact is, boomers think millenials are lazy know-it-alls who live in their parents’ basements and have no appreciation for how hard things were back in ‘the day’. Millenials think boomers are arrogant, out-of-touch curmudgeons who have no idea how the world works anymore.
As a chill gen x, I’m pretty happy to let them destroy each other, because they both suck.
Boomers made two decisions that vastly changed the landscape of America. They decided that 1) Legally, companies are obligated to make a profit, and that is the only factor they should take into account when making decisions (this is known as “increasing shareholder value”), and 2) Once you have money, it should magically make more money for you. It turns out, that “magical money” has a price, and without going into too much detail about economic history, these two decisions meant that, while all the boomers (well, the white men, anyway) could afford houses, nowadays millenials can’t afford a house because the boomers are basically hoarding all the assets and using them to make the magical free money (which isn’t actually free to anybody but them).
Since millenials don’t have money or assets, they have no power to influence this economic model. So... They took their revenge by ruining the one thing they *do* have influence on: The internet.
Remember the internet before millenials got ahold of it? You could do stuff. You could read stuff. Then... Since they had nothing else to do, millenials decided that what the internet really needed was “more content”. Stuff. It doesn’t matter if it’s functional or usable, it just matters that AS MUCH JUNK AS POSSIBLE IS STUFFED ONTO EVERY PAGE ON THE INTERNET. Images. Comments. Likes. Dislikes. Infinite links to MORE JUNK. Since boomers are old and don’t understand technology, they were as powerless to prevent this as the millenials were powerless to prevent the vacuuming of money to the old and wealthy.
So, yup, they both suck. Have at each other, hosses.
So it is with this expectation that I watched millenial Cameron (Lewis Pullman) and boomer Tova (Sally Field) (Tova is not her birth name. Tova is a name that a woman takes when she gets old. Like “Meredith”). I wanted these two people to tear each other to pieces.
They are perfect representations of their respective generations. Tova lives in a near mansion, and while it’s clear that she has a lot of money (she’s constantly getting calls from a retirement home begging her to move in... This is because they know she has a ton of money and they want it) SHE IS CHEAP AS @$$! AND NEVER SPENDS IT. Welcome to boomertown! You can’t spend money and actually stimulate your local economy. Why? Because you need that money to make more money, which in turn you won’t spend. For his part, Cameron has no equity and lives in a van he inherited from his now deceased mother. Just like a millenial! No ambition! No respect for the hard work the boomers had to do in order to make their magic money! I couldn’t wait for these foos to blast each other.
At first, they did! They didn’t physically fight, but they certainly handed each other numerous burn notices. As we know, words can be as violent and hurtful as physical punches to the face, so I was down for it.
Then an octopus intervened.
Marcellus the octopus escaped his tank. Tova cleans the aquarium at night, and she got him back into the tank before he died. Marcellus decided that, since she saved him, he would in turn save *her* by getting her to be friends with Cameron. Umm... I wasn’t aware that octopi lived by the same social code as wookiees? Once somebody saves them, they are owed a “life debt” which must be paid by saving them in turn? Marcellus, my cephalopod, are you kidding me? Tova’s generation STOLE ALL THE MONEY! She’s PART of the problem! She might have saved you, but look at the bigger picture!
But he doesn’t. Through various machinations, Cameron and Tova start to get along. Cameron even introduces her to radiohead.
By the way, millenials, fuck you for radiohead and christopher nolan. I don’t know how you dingbats decided, as a group, that this was the best band and best film director of all time, but THEY AREN’T. Thanks to *your* internet, “OK Computer” is the #1 ranked album of all time, and “The Prestige” is a top 50 movie of all time, while “Ogdens’ Nut Gone Flake” by Small Faces and “Robocop” aren’t even ranked. What are you doing?? “The Prestige”?!!?!? REALLY?? That’s almost as ridiculous as saying that “Jeanne Dielman 23 quai du Commerce 1080 Bruxelles” is the best movie ever made.
Getting back to generational warfare, thanks to an octopus, a millenial and boomer started getting along. I was all set to just turn the damn movie off, I was so offended.
But I didn’t. I actually started... Wanting them to be friends? What?
It’s Sally @#$!ing Field. No matter what... You root for Sally Field. Period. It’s ALWAYS been true, going back to “Norma Rae”. She has this... Jedi mind Field that makes everybody like her. Including me! So... I stopped wanting her to be destroyed. Just by him being in her jedi field, my well wishes even started extending to Cameron, DESPITE radiohead!
A millenial and a boomer getting along... And I’m down for it? What is the world coming to? Thanks, Marcellus the octopus. Thanks, Sally Field. You’ve effectively shattered my understanding of society... At least for a couple hours.
Lewis Pullman does spend an inordinate amount of time in the film trying to find out what happened to his dad. Well... I hate to be the person that breaks it to you... But your dad turned into Balthazar Getty. I know, nobody wants it, but it happens.
7/10